Celebrating Midlife - III

by Proverbs 31 Woman

(the image above was drawn in my devotional journal during the retreat)

We read Hitting the Wall as a jargon amongst marathoners and ultra runners. They describe the three little words as such as:

“Hitting the Wall is basically about running out of energy,” says Dave Martin, Ph.D., Emeritus Regent’s Professor of Health Sciences at Georgia State University in Atlanta—"chemical energy, that is, stored in the form of adenosine triphosphate (ATP) and obtained from the breakdown, or metabolism, of energy-containing fuel".

"It felt like an elephant had jumped out of a tree onto my shoulders and was making me carry it the rest of the way in.”—Dick Beardsley, speaking of hitting "The Wall" at the second marathon of his career, the 1977 City of Lakes Marathon.

“I wasn’t wanting to talk much. And when I’m not talking, you know I’m hurting.”—Don Frichtl, a runner who encountered "The Wall" somewhere after mile 21 of the 2002 Chicago Marathon.

“At around mile 23, I was beginning to feel like the anchor was out.”—George Ringler, speaking of his 1991 Lake County Marathon.

“The Wall.” It evades easy definition, but to borrow from Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s famous definition of obscenity, you know it when you see it—or rather, hit it. “It usually happens around mile 20, give or take a couple of miles. Your pace slows, sometimes considerably. Some runners say that it feels as though their legs had been filled with lead quail shot, like the stomach of Mark Twain’s unfortunate jumping frog of Calaveras County. Others can’t feel their feet at all. Thought processes become a little fuzzy. (“Mile 22, again? I thought I just passed mile 22!”) Muscle coordination goes out the window, and self-doubt casts a deep shadow over the soul”.

I just hit the wall! I’m turning forty (40) this year and I think I have reached there, believe it or not. I call it my “Crossroads”.

From the retreat (Celebrating Midlife) material, “Hitting the Wall” of All My Days (A Personal Life Review) by Richard P. Johnson, he describes such as a developmental "bridge" between the first and the second half of our lives. It is the time when we are embraced with “growth pangs” of development that reverberates the rest of our lives. What are these “growth pangs”, you may ask?

According to Johnson, firstly, there is the loss of youth when we realize we have less time to live than we have already lived. Secondly, brokenness. We may perhaps have developed a level of maturity that enables us to view ourselves as fallible or weak. Thirdly, we tend to shift our awareness of time by setting up limits and boundaries. Fourthly, we take an inventory of ourselves and begin to look back at our history: a review of our past achievements and failures. Fifth, we develop a new attitude toward God. We begin to take more time with God and view Him better than before. Sixth, disillusionment. Our midlife may bring us painful self-reflection and make us ask for more meaning from life than simply worldly success. And lastly, a new definition of self: a new and hauntingly vague uneasiness creeping into our lives when we reach this stage of our lives.

All these that Johnson reiterated had become “head-on” to me. During the retreat, I realized that I am in this stage where I am vulnerable to the “growing pangs”. Honestly? I like it. Or better yet, I love every minute of it! Why? My time with the Lord has never been more intimate. My waistline may have started to increase and some gray hairs have become more evident. Even so, I have become secure in my place. I have come home and have rest in my soul.

I thank God for midlife! I thank God for my “Crossroads”.

Poems written:

The Martha Role

The Mary Role

Crossroads

Celebrating Midlife - II

by Indang

WHO I HAVE BECOME AND WILL BE

The retreat reiterated my acceptance of who I have become and will be. It was accepting myself in my midlife stage and all that it entails: aging parent, growing "apo" (grandchild) in my care, children leaving home, and reversal of roles with my kids. Our children are now giving us advise and doing things for us instead of us doing things for them.

I praise God for all my friends who are sharing this moment with me at this time of my life - Arlene, Elena, Menchu, Mayang, Jing and Faith. And the younger women - Wing, Rose, Frandie, Jenny and Sony. They're not yet there or about to get there. But because we have Jesus as our common denominator, we share a bond of experiences in the various stages of life. We pray for each other, communicate and understand and trust God for everything. And so life goes on but whatever my lot is, with my old friends and new who will continue to lift me up in prayer, it is well with my soul.

God bless us all Women of Purpose!

Celebrating Midlife 1

by $aMsUng

WE JOURNEY TOGETHER

Departure
We departed 5 am for Dumaguete for a 3 day retreat. Such an unholy hour to be leaving, that means no sleep for me tonight... huhu!! I hope our facilitator would be very tolerant if I doze through her lectures and wake up in time for snacks. I'm so looking forward to bonding with the women in our church, getting away from the demands of the family, commune with God and find out what's in store for me in the year 2008. I know when I come back, I'll be refreshed and ready to tackle whatever lies ahead.

En Route to Dumaguete
Since I was the last to board, I was assigned to sit at the back of the van. Wonderful! With just Mench and me, we could stretch our legs in comfort. I expected the rear to be bumpy but that was an understatement! We rocked all the way to Dumaguete and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Milo and banana at 4:30 in the morning didn't quite agree with my stomach... felt queasy about three quarters of the way. But am happy to say we reached our destination without me disgracing myself... haha!!! Jing's new van would have smelled and have everyone throwing up too!!! The company was great though, can't complain about that...

Celebrating Midlife and Beyond
Had lunch at Country Baker's then proceeded to the beach house to start our spiritual retreat. No time for delays. At midlife, we certainly cannot afford it. We had a schedule, which we followed to the last detail. Well, we did... until we let ourselves loose and went shopping one afternoon. Then the sked went haywire.

With so many topics to choose from, why midlife? Simply because we are all in the transition period between adulthood to senior age, or somewhere thereabouts. We share many common concerns and issues like: how to grow old graciously, how to live productively, how to thrive in midlife, how to let go of the past, living out of brokenness and vulnerability, preparing for the empty nest, etc. Some revealed bits and fragments of their lives, others their life sagas. I found sharing of reflections the most treasurable of all activities. The Lectio Divina was my least favorite part. If Elena panicked at the long silence, I was afraid God wouldn't speak to me or I'd be too oblivious to hear Him. Never shared that, but there you go.

We got to know each other better, learned from one another's experiences. We shared our joys and sadness, our ups and downs, our triumphs and downfalls. Each of us unique in our individuality but we all learned:

To be kinder to ourselves, and be less critical.
To be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused... yet, to be accepted.
Not to worry, for God fills our lives with beautiful things.
Not to think negatively, even when problems surround us.
To love our body, despite the flabby arms and excess fat.
To be fulfilled, happy and contented, whatever our station in life.
That air-conditioners, cool baths and ice packs... can relieve hot flushes.
That blankets, warm sweaters and socks can ease cold ones.
To never say never, for it's never too late to pursue our dreams.
To never forget to thank the Lord, for He is our strong provider and protector.
The importance of journal-keeping, for it reminds us of His goodness.
The grace of a fresh start that God gives us, daily!
To be more prayerful, for He listens to our supplications.
To get in touch with ourselves, and to get in touch with our God.
But most of all, we learned that in darkness, woundedness and grief, there is healing and transformation.

We learned much more, but it's simply too numerous to write down. Many thanks to you, Ate Elsie, our facilitator, for being there to guide us through our midlife journey seminar and for sharing your life with us. We are so wonderfully blessed to have known you.