"Crossroads" - Change my heart, Oh God

by Proverbs 31 Woman

Late afternoon yesterday, as I was about to disembark from a cab to get to my IELTS class, there was this fat lady on her motorcycle, who impulsively uttered a “nasty” word at me. I thought at first she was just talking to herself. When I got off the cab, with a tempestuous look, she raged at me and said, “You could have stayed longer in the cab!” “Whoa! Was she talking to me?” As I walked passed her, she started her motorbike and sped away. “What did I do?” I later realized that the cab stopped in front of her preventing her from getting out to the main street. “Hey, it’s not my fault,” mutely, I reasoned with crossed brows.

As I was walking towards the escalator, I mused to myself, “There are just bitter, angry, and nasty people in this world.” Then it hit me, just as I was climbing up the last set of stairs to the third floor of the building, God impressed in my heart that I am like that too.

I stopped for a moment and pondered on the impression into my heart. I whispered, “That’s so ugly, Lord! What are you trying to tell me?”

I realized that I can be despicable in my words, in my actions and in my thoughts. Oftentimes, I can be harsh with my words to others without me knowing it. When I’m in a hurry and stressed out, I can be impatient and my actions will show it. When I see people’s mistakes, I think of their weaknesses as stupidity. All these are ugly manifestations contained in me! I’m no different from that fat woman I met earlier.

Before I walked in the room, I uttered a short prayer, “Lord God, forgive me. Forgive my bitter heart. Change my heart, Oh God. I ask you to take away bitterness and anger from me. I ask you to teach me to be forgiving, to be forbearing, and to honor others so I can bless them with kindness, patience and love. In Your precious name, Jesus. Amen.”

This was a blog entry dated February 8, 2008 at Proverbs 31 Journal.
Series on Revelations will resume next week.

Blessings!

“Just Before I Sleep”

by Mizpah

Pap, is it all right if I ask these funny questions?

Why did you choose to give Jesus Christ poor

parents like Mary and Joseph?

If I were you, I’d have picked the richest family,

say, a Roman official at par with King Herod, if not,

at least his equal.

Why did you choose a stable of barn animals

for Jesus Christ’s delivery room?

If I were you, I’d have chosen the best and most modern

hospital for him. Was there one that time?

Why did you choose the acrid stench of animal

dung to welcome his birth?

If I were you, I would not have allowed him to inhale

any unsanitized air around him

Why did you choose a feeding trough to make do

for a crib and hay for his mattress?

If I were you, I’d have the most beautiful baby’s room

waiting for him with the most expensive crib and bolts

of linen cloth ready for his diapers and blankets.

Why did you choose obscurity rather than

renown regarding his birth?

If I were you, I’d have posted his birth announcement in every newspaper.

I’d have the most influential people invited when

I present and dedicate him at the temple.

Why did you choose poverty over affluence?

If I were you, I’ll bring him up with all the comfort and ease.

I’d have him ride a chariot rather than a donkey.

After all, I can afford.

Why did you choose suffering as his destiny?

Why the hard way over the easy one?

If I were you, I’d have planned for him a life with all its pomp and gaiety.

The accomplishment, wealth, and fame this world can give him.

Oh, Father, why are you so different from us?

Why are your thoughts not our thoughts?

Your ways not our ways?

“What is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?”

“My beloved daughter, do you really want to know why?”

Because I love you very much.

Thus, in the little town of Bethlehem...that one silent night…

the royal birth of God’s Son tiptoed quietly by…

as the world slept.*

Intently looking at his eyes filled with love, I am pacified.

My questions answered.

My heart hushed.

I’ve fallen asleep.

“But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

Psalm 131:2

*Moments with the Savior by Ken Gire

Long-Winding LIMERICKS

by $aMsUng

In the beginning, God started creating and saw it was good
He finished it in a week because He was in the mood.
But Adam and Eve sinned so we are all out of glory
Which makes it a real, real, real sad story.
Cast out of Eden, hungry and nude,

what do you think did they do for food?

Quino and Jenny, we are so very proud of you
Passing the exam was not an easy thing to do.
Still you persevered until you did
Along with Gil and Janine, indeed.
I’m posting a limerick for all to view
I kid you not,
We’re so happy we’ll shout until we’re blue.

(Is there such a thing such a seven line limerick?

Hey, it’s not everyday we have 4 PRC nursing board

passers so what’s 2 more lines?)

Forgot my own false teeth to my horror
Aghast at myself as I looked in the mirror.
With gums grinning back at me
I look much like a banshee.
Which caused me to back away in terror.

I love traipsing down the beach in my teeny-weeny bikini
Much to the surprise of sunbathers on the shores of Kahili.
They stare at my beefiness and tattooed arm
Back away from me as if I mean them harm.
How would they know I have the charm of a very sweet tortini?

“INHERITANCE”

by Mizpah

“The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;

You support my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.”
Psalm 16:5-6

Real Life:

While most of the people were excitedly looking forward to their evening rendezvous last February 14, I found myself attending two burials that day. With our two children off to their own escapades, my husband and I decided to enjoy a quiet evening at home instead over a yummy Calea chocolate cake and a “mestizo” chili con carne.

I woke up early the next morning. As I was spending time with the Lord, He brought back to my mind the words spoken during the eulogy. It was from the youngest daughter of “Lola Pat” as April, my friend would fondly call her grandmother. Fighting her tears, she said, “Mom, I will surely miss you but I will always have you with me wherever I am, even as I work. I will always smell you every time I bake the delicious apple pie you taught me to make…” I really don’t know what exactly made those words touch my heart. It must have been my desire to emulate the quality of life that Lola Pat left behind her family and the people who surrounded her. Sad yet beautiful! Though she may be gone, her legacy will live on forever. Oh, I wish I can be like her!

That surely got me thinking. What about me? What if the Lord calls me “home” today, what legacy am I leaving behind? What have I prepared for my children?

As mother to two wonderful, precious children, I know I should, but what in the world could I possibly leave behind? What am I working on that will be made ready for their use in case I die? What inheritance will my husband and I give them to afford security and stability for their future? What do I have in my hands? Helplessly, I said, “nothing, Lord…nothing!”

Then, the Holy Spirit gently tapped my heart and said, “OF COURSE, YOU HAVE! Remember the promise the Lord gave you in Numbers 18:20, ‘You shall have no inheritance in the land [of the Israelites], neither shall you have any part among them. I am your portion and your inheritance among the Israelites.’? The Lord Himself is your portion. The Lord Himself is your inheritance! How could you have easily forgotten ?”

Lifting my head out of my sullen mood, I said, “Yes, Oh, Yes! I remembered!”

Indeed, I have an inheritance to leave behind for my children and they don’t have to wait for my death for them to start enjoying what I have allotted for them.

Each morning as I bring myself before God, I pray, “Lord, may my life be the “inheritance” my children will live on today. I leave them…

…the joy of loving you with all their heart, soul, and strength;
…the fear of you, Lord which will protect them and give them wisdom;
…the gratefulness to have been forgiven; the graciousness to give the same;
…the generosity and compassion that will extend love to those in need;
…the value of building authentic and deep relationships that will keep them;
…the power of prayer that will bring them through any test and trial;
…the love for your Word that will teach them to hold on to every

promise you’ve made;
…the choice to remain honest and not to let go and compromise even when the whole world taunts and jibes at them;
…the contaminating laughter that wipes the doldrums and stress of their day;
…the courage to cry when they feel like giving up and abandon themselves in realization that it is only in you that their soul can rest;
and…

…the faith that confidently declares, You, Oh, God are my portion, my inheritance and my reward!

WHAT AN AWESOME PRIVILEGE TO LEAVE THE FOOTPRINTS OF MY LIFE TO YOU, MY CHILDREN, AS GOD BRINGS YOU THROUGH TODAY UNTIL ETERNITY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

To Ponder Upon:

Your life is the best legacy you can ever, ever leave. What are you working on today? What’s top on your list? Your career? Your business? Your ambition?

PRAYER:

I know, Father, that my life will continue to heap more and more blessings as I receive from you each day. Empty me, Lord that I will always have my hands open to receive from you. I thank you for giving me the Lord Jesus Christ, the best inheritance ever! What more can I ask? I will never be able to thank you enough. I love you. In Jesus Name, I pray…Amen.

Isaac: Redigging Old Wells

by Crown of Beauty

“Isaac reopened the wells that had been dug
in the time of his father Abraham,
which the Philistines had stopped up after Abraham died,
and he gave them the same names his father had given them.”
Genesis 26:18

Bible Passage: Genesis 26

Genesis 26 opens with a famine in the land and Isaac on his way to Egypt. God tells him not to go down to Egypt, but to remain in Gerar. In that place God promises to bless him.

Isaac obeys, and indeed, the promised blessing begins to manifest.

With the increase of flocks and herds, having a steady water supply becomes Isaac’s priority. For some reason, all the wells that Abraham had dug were filled with earth by the Philistines. Isaac therefore instructs his servants to look for these old wells, and to dig them again.

The servants initially discover two of the wells, but upon being reopened, the wells become a cause of strife between Isaac’s men and the herdsmen of Gerar. Thus Isaac names the wells Esek, meaning Contention, and Sitnah, or Enmity.

A third well is re-discovered, and this time no one quarrels over it. Isaac calls the well Rehoboth, saying “Now the Lord has given us room and we will flourish in the land.” Rehoboth literally means “Spaciousness, or Broad Places.”

Shortly after Rehoboth is re-dug, Isaac goes up to Beersheba.

What is so special about Beersheba?

In this passage we see how history repeats itself in the lives of Abraham and Isaac. Years earlier, the men of Gerar had also disputed with Abraham regarding his wells. In this place, King Abimelech and Abraham made a covenant, or an oath, to live in peace with each other (Genesis 21:31). The place is called Beersheba, meaning The Well of the Oath, or the Well of Seven, “seven” being an ancient word that also means “oath.” Here in Beersheba Abraham planted a tamarisk tree and called on the name of the Lord as “The Eternal, or Everlasting, God.” In Gen 22:19 we read that after Abraham encounters God on Mt. Moriah, he and the boy Isaac set off together for Beersheba where they both remain for a time.

Apparently this place holds a special meaning for both Abraham and Isaac. After digging Rehoboth, or the “Well of Broad Places”, Isaac revisits Beersheba.

It’s as if the Lord was just waiting for him to get there. That very night, the Lord appears again to Isaac, saying “I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not be afraid for I am with you, I will bless you and will increase the number of your descendants for the sake of my servant Abraham.”

In those days, whenever one of the persons in a covenant agreement died, the terms of the covenant was again made clear to the next of kin, to ensure that the covenant remains in force. Abraham having died, it was Isaac’s turn to personally receive the words of the covenant promise. God honors his covenant with Abraham, and speaks to Isaac about it. God is so clear with his words to Isaac in Gen. 26:3: “I will be with you and I will bless you…I will confirm the oath I swore to your father Abraham….”

And there, after God appears to him, Isaac builds an altar and calls on the name of the Lord, just as Abraham his father did. His servants also reopen a fourth well, and Isaac calls it by the same name that Abraham called it: Sheba, or Oath.

Real Life:

These past weeks I have sensed that God has a special message for me from Genesis 26. Almost everyday, I have kept going back to this chapter, as if there was a magnet pulling me to keep reading, and re-reading, the verses. I have also begun thinking deeply about its personal application in my own life.

The account, so beautiful, is beyond words to describe. It’s like finding myself in a cave full of hidden treasures. I choose one, a multi-faceted gem, and I am speechless as I hold it up to the light. In the light I see its unique design and colors. And I want to keep going back for more. It is one of those Bible passages with characters, places and events that cannot be adequately explained…only experienced.

Abraham is the prototype man of faith, obedience and prayer,
who always built an altar at significant stops in his journey,
who always called on the name of the Lord,
who dug the wells for the next generation.

Isaac is the man who knew how to go back in time, to the revisit the past, and reopen the life sources that his father had tapped into in his lifetime. Isaac knew that there were secrets to his father’s spiritual strength; ancient wells that he needed to rediscover and personally drink from.

I need to be like Isaac. I need to review my life story, and rediscover waterholes that have nourished me in earlier years but have somehow been stopped, filled with earth, through neglect, complacency, or wrong priorities. Many areas in my life that I have taken for granted. Valuable lessons that I have simply forgotten. Unwatered portions in the garden of my heart where the soil has become hard and overtaken by weeds.

This is interesting. Gerar, where Isaac dwelt, means “to bring up the cud.” To meditate. Literally, to ruminate.

We hardly use that word these days – to ruminate. To chew, to swallow, and to chew again. To roll something around in your mouth. I need to find my own Valley of Rumination, like Gerar where both Abraham and Isaac dwelt for a time.

And while I need to dig new wells, this time God was clearly telling me, “Revisit your past. Rediscover, re-dig the ancient wells of revival in your life. There is fresh water in those wells.”

Many people tend to look at time as a straight line. But actually, time is circular. I didn’t know this before. But it made much sense when someone explained it to me so clearly. Our life history is not linear. It is a circle, or more accurately, a spiral. It starts with a point, and then we go around, the circle getting bigger as we go back to past lessons and learn something new. We often think the past is past and that there’s no use crying over spilled milk. But God is always giving us a fresh perspective, and His correct re-interpretation of the past events of our life. I’m not saying that we live in the past, but that we must not just fill up our past with sand. We can choose to discover the clear blue waters at its bottom, waiting to be re-visited and re-discovered, and drank from!

ACTION STEPS:
Set one day aside to prayerfully read and re-read Genesis 21 and 26. Think about your own life story. Listen to the questions that arise.

Are there wells you need to re-dig, places you need to re-visit? Relationships that need to heal? Maybe a friendship you have neglected? An insult you need to forgive, an offense you need to let go of?

Is your life like a dimly burning lamp whose wick needs to be trimmed, and re-filled with oil?
Is there a painful area in your life that you have simply shoved under the rug and forgotten about? Is there a past event, a buried family heritage that you need to re-connect with? Where are your spiritual roots?

Do you need to re-kindle your First Love and let passion for Jesus beat once more in your heart?
Whatever it is, face it this time. Maybe it is an old lesson that needs to be re-learned, or unlearned. Ask God to speak to you about it. Ask him about your Esek, your Sitnah, and your Rehoboth.

Re-visit your Beersheba. Build an altar. Call upon the name of the Lord.

PRAYER:
“My Father, the covenant God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, re-open in my life the ancient well of Broad Places, the well of Abundance. Bring me to a place of enlargement, where there is enough room be fruitful, to know You in a deeper way. You desire to show and reveal to me the unfathomable, unsearchable things of Your heart. Oh, dear God, help me to know which old wells I need to re-dig. Light my fire again, dear Lord. I need Your fresh water to seep through the parched places in my garden.”

Poem

by $aMsUng

Audrey Hepburn

Audrey Hepburn wrote this wonderful poem
when asked to share her "beauty tips."
It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness...
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...

I once said to a friend, “If you have nothing nice to say to me, then don’t say anything.” Only to be told, “Then I’ll have nothing to say to you for the rest of my life.” She had the most unattractive lips I’ve ever seen…

My cousin Janet wrote me, “You are a vivacious young woman-- a kindred spirit full of laughter and fun, a heart as unpretentious and sincere.”
Loveliest eyes and very discerning…

Slim figure? That would be Jing Ram, eats like a bird and shares the rest to other people in need. Her generosity knows no bounds. Of course, there are a lot more givers in our church but they eat like a horse…

Beautiful hair… hhmmm… I’d say April, I have no idea if she lets her children run their fingers through her hair but she always looks it, but still manage to come across beautiful inside and out…

JSL truly exemplifies the Proverbs 31 Woman and she puts us all to shame. Her bearing shows the walk she has with her God.
She has poise…

These are some of the women of BCCB, except for the lone individual with unattractive lips. Their stories are the ones that inspire and empower us. In times when their hearts are vulnerable, they carry on with utmost grace and dignity. And they go inward to find God and a sense of inner peace.

SHALOM!!!

The Dash

From Warrior Princess (LF)



I hope you enjoy this as much as I did, and maybe it will help you take life a little slower and with more meaning.

In July 2006, a short 3-minute movie was launched on the Internet called The Dash. Since then, over 40 million people from around the world have watched it; and over 20,000 a day continue to watch it as a result of people passing it along.

The movie has been more successful than we could have ever imagined. More importantly, however, it has inspired many, many people to reflect on their lives and ask that all important question, 'Are my priorities where they should be?'

I hope you enjoy this movie and share it with those who are close to you.

Live the Life You Have Imagined!

Revelations VI

by Proverbs 31 Woman

Sell the Oil and Give!

“She went and told the man of God, and he said,

"Go, sell the oil and pay your debts.
You and your sons can live on what is left."
2 Kings 4:17

Bible Passage: 2 Kings 4: 1-7

Real Life:
Through the years, I have this weakness for hoarding things. I have accumulated quite a treasure in clothes, shoes, household gadgets, and bolts of cloth materials for my quilts that would probably sum up to more than a thousand yards, among others!. Most often, I would buy on credit which would set me off quickly to some rigid income-generating activities to pay off my debts. Obviously, the motive was for the wrong reasons. Since I quit working, my husband and I had no other means but to live on a very tight budget. Needless to say, there was not any extra to support myself and my “wants”.

On the other hand, my husband is the complete opposite, thank God! He is gifted with a generous heart even if it meant giving our last food to feed the hungry. Sometimes I wonder if it hadn’t been for his giving heart and faith in God, maybe my family would probably not experience miracles of provision from the Lord. I prayed and asked God to give me a heart like my husband’s so I could also give freely with a cheerful heart. Often, my hubby reminds me to weed out my closet and give my old things to the less fortunate. One day, I did. In fact, I was able to yield four extra large boxes of old clothes, and two large boxes full of shoes and used curtains and sheets, all from one closet! Regrettably, I found myself labeling prices on them thinking I could earn a handsome return if I so decide to sell at a rummage sale.

I was reading the book of 2 Kings while I continued on heeding God’s instructions. The passage talked about a widow who became the recipient of another’s wealth. But the riches she received came from the hand of God. The woman had known great heartache. She had lost her husband, who was of the men from the “company of the prophets.” Soon she would lose her sons as well, since they were about to become slaves. It was not a happy prospect, and the prophet Elisha, who knew her husband’s devotion to the Lord, wanted to help this desperate widow. When he learned that she had nothing in her house but a small flask of oil, he told her to collect from her neighbors as many empty jars as she could—leaving the number of jars, and the size of her faith, up to her. The woman was to shut herself and her sons inside the house and pour from her flask until all of the jars were full. Nobody else was to see or know about the miracle. Nobody needed to know about it, except Elisha. The woman did as Elisha instructed, and had enough oil to pay her debts and live off the rest. We read that God’s prophets were not only messengers of His judgment, but instruments of His miraculous provision for His people.

Then, He led me to the following verses:

Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7).

The Lord has promised to answer when we lay our needs before him. Jesus also promised, “Give, and it will be given to you” (Luke 6:38).

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' (Matthew 25: 35-40)

From the verses, I knew I only had three ways to raise money: pray, obey and give.

I prayed and decided to obey God and desired the kind of faith of the widow. But surely, it didn’t come overnight. I had to go through the process of pain to let go of what I considered “precious things”. It took me a while to give out my old clothes, shoes, and house things to the poor and to friends without having to sell them at rummage sales. I also made myself more available for the Lord’s work. I gave it all and do you know what? It felt really good! I was freed of the bondage of materialism (spirit of mammon). The more I gave of my time and resources, the more was given back to me! My prayer was answered!

To this day, I still wonder how we can ever live the best way possible with just a meager income. But I know one thing. God provides (and even much more) and will always do!

And yes, miracles do happen! I see them everyday.

Prayer:
How wonderful it is to know that my needs are supplied before I even receive them. I thank you, dearest Lord! You are indeed my Jehovah Jireh, my God that provides! Father, You told us in Your Word, that if we would seek first Your Kingdom and all of Your righteousness, all of this will be added unto us. In your Word, You said that if we delight ourselves in You, You would give us the desires of our hearts. Father, I pray that may I always be reminded to always seek You and Your righteousness first and foremost in my life and find my delight in You and as I do so, I thank You for supplying all of my needs according to Your riches and glory through Your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

"Make peace with the awareness that
you can't have everything you need.
Contentment comes when our
essential needs are met."
Sarah Ban Breathnach

Poem written:
Everyday, I see Your glory (October 27, 2007)

Related article:
Just Give

Cancer Update

Special Article

Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins

It is easier to remember this than it is to treat cancer.

1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.

Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr.. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers.

This applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, Corning Ware or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.

He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons. Also, he pointed out that Saran wrap is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead. This is an article I believe you should forward to your family and friends.

Celebrating Midlife - III

by Proverbs 31 Woman

(the image above was drawn in my devotional journal during the retreat)

We read Hitting the Wall as a jargon amongst marathoners and ultra runners. They describe the three little words as such as:

“Hitting the Wall is basically about running out of energy,” says Dave Martin, Ph.D., Emeritus Regent’s Professor of Health Sciences at Georgia State University in Atlanta—"chemical energy, that is, stored in the form of adenosine triphosphate (ATP) and obtained from the breakdown, or metabolism, of energy-containing fuel".

"It felt like an elephant had jumped out of a tree onto my shoulders and was making me carry it the rest of the way in.”—Dick Beardsley, speaking of hitting "The Wall" at the second marathon of his career, the 1977 City of Lakes Marathon.

“I wasn’t wanting to talk much. And when I’m not talking, you know I’m hurting.”—Don Frichtl, a runner who encountered "The Wall" somewhere after mile 21 of the 2002 Chicago Marathon.

“At around mile 23, I was beginning to feel like the anchor was out.”—George Ringler, speaking of his 1991 Lake County Marathon.

“The Wall.” It evades easy definition, but to borrow from Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s famous definition of obscenity, you know it when you see it—or rather, hit it. “It usually happens around mile 20, give or take a couple of miles. Your pace slows, sometimes considerably. Some runners say that it feels as though their legs had been filled with lead quail shot, like the stomach of Mark Twain’s unfortunate jumping frog of Calaveras County. Others can’t feel their feet at all. Thought processes become a little fuzzy. (“Mile 22, again? I thought I just passed mile 22!”) Muscle coordination goes out the window, and self-doubt casts a deep shadow over the soul”.

I just hit the wall! I’m turning forty (40) this year and I think I have reached there, believe it or not. I call it my “Crossroads”.

From the retreat (Celebrating Midlife) material, “Hitting the Wall” of All My Days (A Personal Life Review) by Richard P. Johnson, he describes such as a developmental "bridge" between the first and the second half of our lives. It is the time when we are embraced with “growth pangs” of development that reverberates the rest of our lives. What are these “growth pangs”, you may ask?

According to Johnson, firstly, there is the loss of youth when we realize we have less time to live than we have already lived. Secondly, brokenness. We may perhaps have developed a level of maturity that enables us to view ourselves as fallible or weak. Thirdly, we tend to shift our awareness of time by setting up limits and boundaries. Fourthly, we take an inventory of ourselves and begin to look back at our history: a review of our past achievements and failures. Fifth, we develop a new attitude toward God. We begin to take more time with God and view Him better than before. Sixth, disillusionment. Our midlife may bring us painful self-reflection and make us ask for more meaning from life than simply worldly success. And lastly, a new definition of self: a new and hauntingly vague uneasiness creeping into our lives when we reach this stage of our lives.

All these that Johnson reiterated had become “head-on” to me. During the retreat, I realized that I am in this stage where I am vulnerable to the “growing pangs”. Honestly? I like it. Or better yet, I love every minute of it! Why? My time with the Lord has never been more intimate. My waistline may have started to increase and some gray hairs have become more evident. Even so, I have become secure in my place. I have come home and have rest in my soul.

I thank God for midlife! I thank God for my “Crossroads”.

Poems written:

The Martha Role

The Mary Role

Crossroads

Celebrating Midlife - II

by Indang

WHO I HAVE BECOME AND WILL BE

The retreat reiterated my acceptance of who I have become and will be. It was accepting myself in my midlife stage and all that it entails: aging parent, growing "apo" (grandchild) in my care, children leaving home, and reversal of roles with my kids. Our children are now giving us advise and doing things for us instead of us doing things for them.

I praise God for all my friends who are sharing this moment with me at this time of my life - Arlene, Elena, Menchu, Mayang, Jing and Faith. And the younger women - Wing, Rose, Frandie, Jenny and Sony. They're not yet there or about to get there. But because we have Jesus as our common denominator, we share a bond of experiences in the various stages of life. We pray for each other, communicate and understand and trust God for everything. And so life goes on but whatever my lot is, with my old friends and new who will continue to lift me up in prayer, it is well with my soul.

God bless us all Women of Purpose!

REVELATIONS V

by Proverbs 31 Woman

GIVE, AND IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not”.
(Gal. 6: 7- 9 KJV)

Bible Passage: Exodus 34:1-10

Real Life:
In the Scripture passage you will read that Moses met up with God at Mt. Sinai, a barren place. During this encounter, Moses received specific instructions meant to prepare the Israelites for the crossing of the Jordan River and to equip them for the possession of the Promised Land. I, too had to meet God in a specific place during my desert experience. At this point in time, I only need to get away and find answers to my questions.

The Hebrew word for desert comes from a verb which means, “to speak”. Indeed, in my desert experience, God was not silent. As I shared with you God’s Revelations, God was communicating to me in my most barren time. But firstly, I have to be broken enough to be teachable and secondly, I have to be humble enough for Him to commit to me wisdom while waiting for His instructions. My communing with Him through fervent prayer was His way of giving me clear instructions to equip me in my desert experience for my crossroads journey ahead.

Giving was one of His significant instructions as I continued to commune with Him. In the Bible, it reads: “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” (Luke 6:38 KJV).

But take note of this verse: "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: (Luke 6: 37 KJV) Did you notice this verse immediately precedes the one quoted above, and that there is not even a period after it? It continues right into the ‘give, and it shall be given unto you’ verse! My impression is that the scriptures was not merely talking about tithing, it talked about forgiving!

These two verses tend not to be seen in the same context. The judging portion is often regarded as a separate subject from the 'giving and getting' part. I pondered on these verses for a while until He showed me some more. It was important for me to read at least a number of verses in sequence in order to get the full meaning of God’s Word.

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6: 7- 9)

Sometimes, I often feel I’m not getting rewarded for my tithes, offerings, and goodwill gifts and services. Is it maybe because I may have judged, condemned, or harbored unforgiveness towards others?

Then it hit me! There are consequences to every action I take.

I have sinned! I have judged, condemned and harbored unforgiveness in my heart. It was this very time when I asked the Lord to forgive me from of all the grievances I have of Him, of my loved ones, and of my friends.

And my God, in all His mercy, graciously forgave me through the enlightening of these verses:

”Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little. Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." Luke 7:47-48

“If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,” 2 Corinthians 2:10

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-34

With this instruction, it’s not about what I can give, but it’s about whom I will forgive.

To Ponder Upon:
Have you taken time off to examine yourself and bring your barren self to God? Do you think you need to hear from Him? Do you need to forgive someone? If you haven’t done that yet, come away in a quiet place with the Lord. Read your Bible and record God’s instructions in your journal. You need to meet God with sensitive ears to hear, a willing heart to obey and a desire to be cleansed, and the attitude of honor and respect for the One True God. You will reap your blessings in due season!

Prayer:

“Almighty God, I come to You in humility and strip myself of self-conceit. You have been gracious to me as You have listened patiently to my concerns and consoled me in times of hardship. Let me remember Your love for me when I am called upon to forgive another person. May I recognize this failing in myself and remember Your words and example whenever I have a need of a forgiving spirit. In Your name Jesus, I pray. Amen.”

Revelations VI coming soon.

Celebrating Midlife 1

by $aMsUng

WE JOURNEY TOGETHER

Departure
We departed 5 am for Dumaguete for a 3 day retreat. Such an unholy hour to be leaving, that means no sleep for me tonight... huhu!! I hope our facilitator would be very tolerant if I doze through her lectures and wake up in time for snacks. I'm so looking forward to bonding with the women in our church, getting away from the demands of the family, commune with God and find out what's in store for me in the year 2008. I know when I come back, I'll be refreshed and ready to tackle whatever lies ahead.

En Route to Dumaguete
Since I was the last to board, I was assigned to sit at the back of the van. Wonderful! With just Mench and me, we could stretch our legs in comfort. I expected the rear to be bumpy but that was an understatement! We rocked all the way to Dumaguete and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Milo and banana at 4:30 in the morning didn't quite agree with my stomach... felt queasy about three quarters of the way. But am happy to say we reached our destination without me disgracing myself... haha!!! Jing's new van would have smelled and have everyone throwing up too!!! The company was great though, can't complain about that...

Celebrating Midlife and Beyond
Had lunch at Country Baker's then proceeded to the beach house to start our spiritual retreat. No time for delays. At midlife, we certainly cannot afford it. We had a schedule, which we followed to the last detail. Well, we did... until we let ourselves loose and went shopping one afternoon. Then the sked went haywire.

With so many topics to choose from, why midlife? Simply because we are all in the transition period between adulthood to senior age, or somewhere thereabouts. We share many common concerns and issues like: how to grow old graciously, how to live productively, how to thrive in midlife, how to let go of the past, living out of brokenness and vulnerability, preparing for the empty nest, etc. Some revealed bits and fragments of their lives, others their life sagas. I found sharing of reflections the most treasurable of all activities. The Lectio Divina was my least favorite part. If Elena panicked at the long silence, I was afraid God wouldn't speak to me or I'd be too oblivious to hear Him. Never shared that, but there you go.

We got to know each other better, learned from one another's experiences. We shared our joys and sadness, our ups and downs, our triumphs and downfalls. Each of us unique in our individuality but we all learned:

To be kinder to ourselves, and be less critical.
To be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused... yet, to be accepted.
Not to worry, for God fills our lives with beautiful things.
Not to think negatively, even when problems surround us.
To love our body, despite the flabby arms and excess fat.
To be fulfilled, happy and contented, whatever our station in life.
That air-conditioners, cool baths and ice packs... can relieve hot flushes.
That blankets, warm sweaters and socks can ease cold ones.
To never say never, for it's never too late to pursue our dreams.
To never forget to thank the Lord, for He is our strong provider and protector.
The importance of journal-keeping, for it reminds us of His goodness.
The grace of a fresh start that God gives us, daily!
To be more prayerful, for He listens to our supplications.
To get in touch with ourselves, and to get in touch with our God.
But most of all, we learned that in darkness, woundedness and grief, there is healing and transformation.

We learned much more, but it's simply too numerous to write down. Many thanks to you, Ate Elsie, our facilitator, for being there to guide us through our midlife journey seminar and for sharing your life with us. We are so wonderfully blessed to have known you.

Just a Reminder

by $aMsUng

It’s three days away from one of the most over-rated events of the world: Valentine’s Day! So here’s the picture, a fashionably sensitive guy buys a box of chocolates, flowers or a gift that comes in a very small package, reserves a romantic table for two way in advance at an equally romantic but crowded restaurant, only to find the food crummy, the service lousy, with the ambience of Cirque Du Soleil… which he probably paid for too!! Still, lucky is the lady who gets the whole nine yards.

But here are some tips for the insensitive and impervious ones, who do not have an ounce of romantic bone in their body. These are the top 10 worst Valentine gifts for your loved one (husbands or men if you're reading this, take note if you please):

10. Something that looks like you won from the local "peryahan" or carnival, there has never been an article in Better Living on how to establish mood around a miniature-sized scruffy Tweety bird motif.

9. Anything that you accidentally left the receipt from The 99 Peso Store? Destroy all receipts if the gift is from Citi or Ace Hardware. Remember the answer to the question: “Where did you get this?” Your answer should always be, “The mall”

8. Singing “Only You”, especially when it's sang off-key.

7. Take her with you on your all boys night-out! If you even thought this... If you even thought this…If… Never mind.

6. Buying her an expensive stereo “for your car”.

5. Anything too small. Your sweetheart is not the same size as the anorexic sales clerk. So quit saying, “Oh she’s about your size.”

4. Cooking a romantic dinner made with Spam or Vienna Sausage doesn’t just cut it. Even if your buddies say you can make a gourmet meal out of those tin cans.

3. Flowers bought at the last minute looking slightly wilted like they were picked November 1 of last year…

2. Pots, pans, pressure cooker, vacuum cleaner or anything that involves manual labor. This is Valentine’s Day, not MAID’S DAY!

10. Nothing. Even if she says, “Oh don’t get me anything.” Get her something! If you arrive home and realize you have forgotten to get her a thing, tear your shirt and bang your head on the car several times. Tell her you had the prettiest diamond bracelet but you got mugged on your way home.

* Just a reminder, Valentine’s Day falls on February 14th this year.

BCCB Women's Retreat

BCCB Women of Purpose

Celebrating Midlife

a spiritual retreat for women in midlife

Facilitated by:

Elsie Calalang

January 31 to February 2, 2008

Dumaguete City

I MISS YOU

by Mizpah

Three little words when sincerely spoken from our hearts can keep and strengthen our marriages. These powerful affirmation tells our spouse we want, need, desire and love him! At that very moment we say these to them, don’t we mean “I wish you’re here with me!”

What Matters More

by $aMsUng

Doing homework used to be uncomplicated. All we needed were papers, a writing pen, a calculator and textbooks for reference. Words that were beyond our comprehension, we looked up in the dictionary. I remember lugging around two huge volumes of The Oxford Universal Dictionary Illustrated, A – M, N –Z. And if I really don’t get it or am just too plain lazy, I’m quick to call up a friend and ask for answers. If not, I go to school early the next day and copy (thanks, Belski, I wouldn’t have made it through high school without you). But my daughter Kolin, my gulay… she’s so smart! She has somebody who works her fingers to the bone for her. Projects, research, reaction papers, you name it, she gets it done ahead of sked…BY ME!!! I know, I know…I’m not doing her any favor by doing practically all her school works. But…hehe…would you believe I’m enjoying myself? I have just learned to copy/paste middle of last year, courtesy of the aforementioned and she has taken full advantage of my new knowledge. Taught me a couple more tricks and she had me eating out of her hands. It’s so amazing how much we can do just by surfing the web. A little complicated than what I was used to and a bit more than I could grasp, but I’m getting there, slow by slow. Click, tap, tap, tap, scroll, search for the right topic, copy, paste, search for image, again click, copy, paste, print and voilá! The work is done. All these in one sitting! What happened to the zooming around looking for a ruler, a pen that doesn’t blot, a calculator that actually works, or transporting heavyweight dictionaries? Because of technology, at least 500 calories that used to get worked off in a normal day now go into permanent unwanted space.

Ngee... I make it sound like I do everything for her except take her place in school, but nah, I help her out every now and then, give her a head start, then she’s on her own. Not all Moms would probably agree with me, leaving them to fend for themselves has its benefit. However, I would like to share with you an inspiring message I received from a friend:

"I am glad that you are enjoying the time you spend helping your daughter with her homework. I think what makes it more satisfying is that you are having quality time with her. Children are hard to please and it’s difficult to get hold of their full attention. With activities like what you are doing you get to know how your child is doing and how she’s using her social skills in school, direct from her own mouth without having to ask her. Sometimes children are intimidated by all sorts of questions but with simple conversations while doing their homework, they open up easily with nary a question on your part. But honestly I am really amazed by the dedication you are giving to your daughter. Nowadays, many Moms are so busy they don't even have time to attend PTA meetings, much more help their children with their school works. I am sure your daughter will become a mother like you, she will remember each moment you spent with her. Memories are priceless, these are your only solid inheritance to her no matter what may happen to her physically, financially and emotionally. So good luck...believe me you are doing a very noble thing and your daughter will always remember this for the rest of her life...be blessed and take care…”

Though Kolin may not fully appreciate the labor of my love, rationalizing that it is my job to help her with every little thing, someday she will, and she will remember the times we spent together, thus making the memories worth all the effort. It’s what I call my investment in the future.

Abraham-I

By Crown of Beauty

CROSSROADS

This is just a few meters away from our Maejo U. flat in Sansai, Chiang Mai.
Crossroads remind us of the many choices we need to make each day. Which way, Lord?
"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.'"
(Is. 30:21, NKJV)

“So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey,
and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son;
and he split the wood for the burnt offering,
and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.”
(Genesis 22:3, NKJV)

Isaac was the son of promise. I’m sure Abraham didn’t understand why he was being asked by the very same God who made the promise, to offer “your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love” as a burnt offering.

But Abraham was a man of faith, and faith is tested, proven, and rooted in obedience. I am amazed at the depth of this man’s faith that makes him willing to obey and let go of his only son Isaac. Without a murmur, without a complaint. Just a yes.

How much faith was needed before he could confidently say to his menservants, “Stay here with the donkey, the lad and I will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you.”

Look how tenderly he responds to Isaac’s question:

Isaac: My father!

Abraham: Here I am, my son.

Isaac: Look, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

Abraham: My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering.

What guarantees did he have? What kind of faith did he possess that he could speak about such matters so matter-of-factly? Tears well up in my eyes as I imagine this conversation between father and son. Here he was, very close to losing his own son. And he speaks so gently, so softly.
Then in just a few more minutes, Isaac himself realizes the truth: he was to be the burnt offering. At the moment of realization, Isaac had no other choice but to hold on to his father’s faith.

At this point, both father and son had nothing, but faith that God will act. Did Abraham embrace his son before tying him up and putting him on the altar? I’m sure he did. Did Isaac struggle? Most probably.

We women want to know details like those. But the Bible is silent and highlights instead the kind of faith that Abraham, and Isaac, demonstrated at a crossroads in their life.

We are familiar with the rest of the story. As Abraham was about to slay his son, God did provide a ram caught in a thicket by his horns. And in this place of painful obedience, Abraham’s life took a turning point. So real was Abraham’s encounter with God that he called the place, “The Lord Will Provide.”

In this place of provision, when he thought he was facing a dead end, his faith was rewarded. And God speaks to him these awesome words of blessing: “Because … you have not withheld your son, your only son – blessing, I will bless you, and multiplying, I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore, and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies.” (Gen. 22:16-17, NKJV)

Real Life:
I find myself face to face with hard choices. To give up, to let go, to give in. To offer as a sacrifice what I hold dear and precious in my life. To say, “Yes, Lord,” even if I don’t understand. Even if deep inside of me, I’d rather not. Asking God to give me the grace, and the gentle strength, to yield. But I know my faith has to be broken before it can be proven strong. Faith is just a handle. It is the object of my faith that matters.

And though I know the rewards of faith are real: blessings of faith, multiplication, and possessing the gates of my enemies (vindication), there is no substitute for the greatest reward of all. God Himself.

Action Step:
What difficult situation are you facing right now? Do you hear yourself asking your heavenly father, “My Father, where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” What is His tender reply to you?

Prayer:

“My Father, I don’t always understand, or see the end of the road, but you are a God who can be counted on. When I have nothing to hold on to but my meager, mustard seed faith, I ask you to open my eyes and reveal to me options I never thought possible. Above all, lead me closer to your heart. You’re all I want.”

Revelations IV

by Proverbs 31 Woman!

THE VITAL KEY: PRAYER

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Phil. 4:4-6

Real Life:
How amazing it is to be aligned with God in spirit. For the last three Sundays now, Pastor Joe’s sermons talked about what the Lord revealed to me last year. As I was going through my journal, it was evident to me that He was talking about the same things. I was telling my husband yesterday at church that this was not a coincidence. It is indeed a confirmation of His word of instruction to His people. I remember someone said to me before, “If you hear the same message over twice, God is telling you something. Take heed.”

During my desert experience, it was the very time when everything seemed to go downhill. Aside from my failing the examinations, my family was faced with financial difficulties and challenges as well. In my desolate state, my mind was bombarded with questions: “Why couldn’t the Lord show himself powerful in our situation? Why are you far from me, Lord? Why are we merely treading on water and trying to survive? Why?… Why?…. Why?” My heart ached as I pondered upon these hard-hitting questions.

I knelt down and wept in prayer. Gradually, as I sought the Lord, a number of promises from his Word came alive. In my heart, as I began to rely upon them in prayer, God dispelled my sense of being overwhelmed. The Holy Spirit was helping me to understand the truths of Scripture, which in turn gave me the faith to trust the Lord.

One of the best gifts God gave at that time was teaching me to come to Him in sincere prayer. The Bible says: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30. Upon reading this, I wept again.

More and more I realized that prayer was the key. Why did God emphasize prayer?

*Prayer is a form of serving God (Luke 2:36-38).

*We pray because God commands us to pray (Philippians 4:6-7).

*Prayer is exemplified for us by Christ and the early church (Mark 1:35; Acts 1:14; 2:42; 3:1; 4:23-31; 6:4; 13:1-3). If Jesus thought it was worthwhile to pray, we should also.

*God intends for prayer to be the means of obtaining His solutions in a number of situations:
a) Preparation for major decisions (Luke 6:12-13).
b) Overcoming demonic barriers in our lives (Matthew 17:14-21).
c) The gathering of workers for the spiritual harvest (Luke 10:2).
d) The gaining of strength to overcome temptation (Matthew 26:41).
e) The means of strengthening others spiritually (Ephesians 6:18-19).
f) The means for physical healing (Genesis 20:17).

We have God's promise that our prayers are not in vain, even if we don't receive specifically what we asked for (Matthew 6:6; Romans 8:26-27). He has promised that when we ask for things that are in accordance with His will, He will give us what we ask for (1 John 5:14-15).

A lack of prayer demonstrates the lack of faith and a lack of trust in God’s Word. We pray to demonstrate our faith in God, that He will do as He has promised in His Word, and will bless our lives abundantly more than we could ask or hope for (Ephesians 3:20). Prayer is our primary means of seeing God work in others' lives. Because it is our means of "plugging into" God's power, it is our means of defeating a foe and his army (Satan and his army) that we are powerless to overcome by ourselves. Therefore, may God find us often before His throne, for we have a High Priest in heaven who can identify with all that we go through (Hebrews 4:15-16). We have His promise that the fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much (James 5:16-18).

MY SILENT PRAYER

(written during my desert experience)

I come to you, O Lord in prayer,
Knowing and believing, you're always there;
With folded hands and bended knees,
Prayer, I know, is the ultimate key.

I wept, my heart in despair,
I asked if You ever care,
"Trust and Obey", was all I could hear,
In my heart, t'was ever so clear.

"Come and taste my goodness," You mused,
All the while I wandered, so confused.
In the desert, I was dry and alone-
Bewildered, I pondered until dawn.

Finally, I released of myself and stripped off,
Suddenly, fresh anointing of Your Spirit, I felt.
So gentle, so loving, so fragile, so soft,
Before His throne, with humility, my heart melts.

In prayer, relentlessly, unknown,
My God, in His favor, He has shown-
True love, my burdens He has carried,
For me on the cross until He was buried.

You gave me Hope, You gave me life!
Through resurrection power, You are my light.
My heavy yoke, the battle is not my fight,
But by Your Spirit, not mine power nor might.

Precious dear Lord, I thank you, I pray-
I will hear of you, in Your arms I stay.
In my silent prayer, You teach me to do,
In my life's journey, you leadeth I go.

May God glorify His name in our lives as we believe in Him enough to come to Him often in prayer.

Prayer:
“Dear Jesus, thank you for teaching us to pray. Thank you that in your name, our battles within are silenced in prayer. Thank you that when we call upon your name, You come and hear our cry. Thank you that when we pray, You answer what’s best for us, in your perfect time. Amen.”

Prayer.... Make it a lifestyle. I have written more about it in my website: Proverbs 31 Journal's Prayer Tray. Click here for the link:
http://jensnursingchronicles.blogspot.com/2008/01/prayer-tray.html

Coming soon…Revelations V. “Give and it will come back to you”