Celebrating Midlife - II

by Indang

WHO I HAVE BECOME AND WILL BE

The retreat reiterated my acceptance of who I have become and will be. It was accepting myself in my midlife stage and all that it entails: aging parent, growing "apo" (grandchild) in my care, children leaving home, and reversal of roles with my kids. Our children are now giving us advise and doing things for us instead of us doing things for them.

I praise God for all my friends who are sharing this moment with me at this time of my life - Arlene, Elena, Menchu, Mayang, Jing and Faith. And the younger women - Wing, Rose, Frandie, Jenny and Sony. They're not yet there or about to get there. But because we have Jesus as our common denominator, we share a bond of experiences in the various stages of life. We pray for each other, communicate and understand and trust God for everything. And so life goes on but whatever my lot is, with my old friends and new who will continue to lift me up in prayer, it is well with my soul.

God bless us all Women of Purpose!

REVELATIONS V

by Proverbs 31 Woman

GIVE, AND IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not”.
(Gal. 6: 7- 9 KJV)

Bible Passage: Exodus 34:1-10

Real Life:
In the Scripture passage you will read that Moses met up with God at Mt. Sinai, a barren place. During this encounter, Moses received specific instructions meant to prepare the Israelites for the crossing of the Jordan River and to equip them for the possession of the Promised Land. I, too had to meet God in a specific place during my desert experience. At this point in time, I only need to get away and find answers to my questions.

The Hebrew word for desert comes from a verb which means, “to speak”. Indeed, in my desert experience, God was not silent. As I shared with you God’s Revelations, God was communicating to me in my most barren time. But firstly, I have to be broken enough to be teachable and secondly, I have to be humble enough for Him to commit to me wisdom while waiting for His instructions. My communing with Him through fervent prayer was His way of giving me clear instructions to equip me in my desert experience for my crossroads journey ahead.

Giving was one of His significant instructions as I continued to commune with Him. In the Bible, it reads: “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” (Luke 6:38 KJV).

But take note of this verse: "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: (Luke 6: 37 KJV) Did you notice this verse immediately precedes the one quoted above, and that there is not even a period after it? It continues right into the ‘give, and it shall be given unto you’ verse! My impression is that the scriptures was not merely talking about tithing, it talked about forgiving!

These two verses tend not to be seen in the same context. The judging portion is often regarded as a separate subject from the 'giving and getting' part. I pondered on these verses for a while until He showed me some more. It was important for me to read at least a number of verses in sequence in order to get the full meaning of God’s Word.

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6: 7- 9)

Sometimes, I often feel I’m not getting rewarded for my tithes, offerings, and goodwill gifts and services. Is it maybe because I may have judged, condemned, or harbored unforgiveness towards others?

Then it hit me! There are consequences to every action I take.

I have sinned! I have judged, condemned and harbored unforgiveness in my heart. It was this very time when I asked the Lord to forgive me from of all the grievances I have of Him, of my loved ones, and of my friends.

And my God, in all His mercy, graciously forgave me through the enlightening of these verses:

”Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little. Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." Luke 7:47-48

“If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,” 2 Corinthians 2:10

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-34

With this instruction, it’s not about what I can give, but it’s about whom I will forgive.

To Ponder Upon:
Have you taken time off to examine yourself and bring your barren self to God? Do you think you need to hear from Him? Do you need to forgive someone? If you haven’t done that yet, come away in a quiet place with the Lord. Read your Bible and record God’s instructions in your journal. You need to meet God with sensitive ears to hear, a willing heart to obey and a desire to be cleansed, and the attitude of honor and respect for the One True God. You will reap your blessings in due season!

Prayer:

“Almighty God, I come to You in humility and strip myself of self-conceit. You have been gracious to me as You have listened patiently to my concerns and consoled me in times of hardship. Let me remember Your love for me when I am called upon to forgive another person. May I recognize this failing in myself and remember Your words and example whenever I have a need of a forgiving spirit. In Your name Jesus, I pray. Amen.”

Revelations VI coming soon.

Celebrating Midlife 1

by $aMsUng

WE JOURNEY TOGETHER

Departure
We departed 5 am for Dumaguete for a 3 day retreat. Such an unholy hour to be leaving, that means no sleep for me tonight... huhu!! I hope our facilitator would be very tolerant if I doze through her lectures and wake up in time for snacks. I'm so looking forward to bonding with the women in our church, getting away from the demands of the family, commune with God and find out what's in store for me in the year 2008. I know when I come back, I'll be refreshed and ready to tackle whatever lies ahead.

En Route to Dumaguete
Since I was the last to board, I was assigned to sit at the back of the van. Wonderful! With just Mench and me, we could stretch our legs in comfort. I expected the rear to be bumpy but that was an understatement! We rocked all the way to Dumaguete and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Milo and banana at 4:30 in the morning didn't quite agree with my stomach... felt queasy about three quarters of the way. But am happy to say we reached our destination without me disgracing myself... haha!!! Jing's new van would have smelled and have everyone throwing up too!!! The company was great though, can't complain about that...

Celebrating Midlife and Beyond
Had lunch at Country Baker's then proceeded to the beach house to start our spiritual retreat. No time for delays. At midlife, we certainly cannot afford it. We had a schedule, which we followed to the last detail. Well, we did... until we let ourselves loose and went shopping one afternoon. Then the sked went haywire.

With so many topics to choose from, why midlife? Simply because we are all in the transition period between adulthood to senior age, or somewhere thereabouts. We share many common concerns and issues like: how to grow old graciously, how to live productively, how to thrive in midlife, how to let go of the past, living out of brokenness and vulnerability, preparing for the empty nest, etc. Some revealed bits and fragments of their lives, others their life sagas. I found sharing of reflections the most treasurable of all activities. The Lectio Divina was my least favorite part. If Elena panicked at the long silence, I was afraid God wouldn't speak to me or I'd be too oblivious to hear Him. Never shared that, but there you go.

We got to know each other better, learned from one another's experiences. We shared our joys and sadness, our ups and downs, our triumphs and downfalls. Each of us unique in our individuality but we all learned:

To be kinder to ourselves, and be less critical.
To be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused... yet, to be accepted.
Not to worry, for God fills our lives with beautiful things.
Not to think negatively, even when problems surround us.
To love our body, despite the flabby arms and excess fat.
To be fulfilled, happy and contented, whatever our station in life.
That air-conditioners, cool baths and ice packs... can relieve hot flushes.
That blankets, warm sweaters and socks can ease cold ones.
To never say never, for it's never too late to pursue our dreams.
To never forget to thank the Lord, for He is our strong provider and protector.
The importance of journal-keeping, for it reminds us of His goodness.
The grace of a fresh start that God gives us, daily!
To be more prayerful, for He listens to our supplications.
To get in touch with ourselves, and to get in touch with our God.
But most of all, we learned that in darkness, woundedness and grief, there is healing and transformation.

We learned much more, but it's simply too numerous to write down. Many thanks to you, Ate Elsie, our facilitator, for being there to guide us through our midlife journey seminar and for sharing your life with us. We are so wonderfully blessed to have known you.

Just a Reminder

by $aMsUng

It’s three days away from one of the most over-rated events of the world: Valentine’s Day! So here’s the picture, a fashionably sensitive guy buys a box of chocolates, flowers or a gift that comes in a very small package, reserves a romantic table for two way in advance at an equally romantic but crowded restaurant, only to find the food crummy, the service lousy, with the ambience of Cirque Du Soleil… which he probably paid for too!! Still, lucky is the lady who gets the whole nine yards.

But here are some tips for the insensitive and impervious ones, who do not have an ounce of romantic bone in their body. These are the top 10 worst Valentine gifts for your loved one (husbands or men if you're reading this, take note if you please):

10. Something that looks like you won from the local "peryahan" or carnival, there has never been an article in Better Living on how to establish mood around a miniature-sized scruffy Tweety bird motif.

9. Anything that you accidentally left the receipt from The 99 Peso Store? Destroy all receipts if the gift is from Citi or Ace Hardware. Remember the answer to the question: “Where did you get this?” Your answer should always be, “The mall”

8. Singing “Only You”, especially when it's sang off-key.

7. Take her with you on your all boys night-out! If you even thought this... If you even thought this…If… Never mind.

6. Buying her an expensive stereo “for your car”.

5. Anything too small. Your sweetheart is not the same size as the anorexic sales clerk. So quit saying, “Oh she’s about your size.”

4. Cooking a romantic dinner made with Spam or Vienna Sausage doesn’t just cut it. Even if your buddies say you can make a gourmet meal out of those tin cans.

3. Flowers bought at the last minute looking slightly wilted like they were picked November 1 of last year…

2. Pots, pans, pressure cooker, vacuum cleaner or anything that involves manual labor. This is Valentine’s Day, not MAID’S DAY!

10. Nothing. Even if she says, “Oh don’t get me anything.” Get her something! If you arrive home and realize you have forgotten to get her a thing, tear your shirt and bang your head on the car several times. Tell her you had the prettiest diamond bracelet but you got mugged on your way home.

* Just a reminder, Valentine’s Day falls on February 14th this year.

BCCB Women's Retreat

BCCB Women of Purpose

Celebrating Midlife

a spiritual retreat for women in midlife

Facilitated by:

Elsie Calalang

January 31 to February 2, 2008

Dumaguete City

I MISS YOU

by Mizpah

Three little words when sincerely spoken from our hearts can keep and strengthen our marriages. These powerful affirmation tells our spouse we want, need, desire and love him! At that very moment we say these to them, don’t we mean “I wish you’re here with me!”

What Matters More

by $aMsUng

Doing homework used to be uncomplicated. All we needed were papers, a writing pen, a calculator and textbooks for reference. Words that were beyond our comprehension, we looked up in the dictionary. I remember lugging around two huge volumes of The Oxford Universal Dictionary Illustrated, A – M, N –Z. And if I really don’t get it or am just too plain lazy, I’m quick to call up a friend and ask for answers. If not, I go to school early the next day and copy (thanks, Belski, I wouldn’t have made it through high school without you). But my daughter Kolin, my gulay… she’s so smart! She has somebody who works her fingers to the bone for her. Projects, research, reaction papers, you name it, she gets it done ahead of sked…BY ME!!! I know, I know…I’m not doing her any favor by doing practically all her school works. But…hehe…would you believe I’m enjoying myself? I have just learned to copy/paste middle of last year, courtesy of the aforementioned and she has taken full advantage of my new knowledge. Taught me a couple more tricks and she had me eating out of her hands. It’s so amazing how much we can do just by surfing the web. A little complicated than what I was used to and a bit more than I could grasp, but I’m getting there, slow by slow. Click, tap, tap, tap, scroll, search for the right topic, copy, paste, search for image, again click, copy, paste, print and voilá! The work is done. All these in one sitting! What happened to the zooming around looking for a ruler, a pen that doesn’t blot, a calculator that actually works, or transporting heavyweight dictionaries? Because of technology, at least 500 calories that used to get worked off in a normal day now go into permanent unwanted space.

Ngee... I make it sound like I do everything for her except take her place in school, but nah, I help her out every now and then, give her a head start, then she’s on her own. Not all Moms would probably agree with me, leaving them to fend for themselves has its benefit. However, I would like to share with you an inspiring message I received from a friend:

"I am glad that you are enjoying the time you spend helping your daughter with her homework. I think what makes it more satisfying is that you are having quality time with her. Children are hard to please and it’s difficult to get hold of their full attention. With activities like what you are doing you get to know how your child is doing and how she’s using her social skills in school, direct from her own mouth without having to ask her. Sometimes children are intimidated by all sorts of questions but with simple conversations while doing their homework, they open up easily with nary a question on your part. But honestly I am really amazed by the dedication you are giving to your daughter. Nowadays, many Moms are so busy they don't even have time to attend PTA meetings, much more help their children with their school works. I am sure your daughter will become a mother like you, she will remember each moment you spent with her. Memories are priceless, these are your only solid inheritance to her no matter what may happen to her physically, financially and emotionally. So good luck...believe me you are doing a very noble thing and your daughter will always remember this for the rest of her life...be blessed and take care…”

Though Kolin may not fully appreciate the labor of my love, rationalizing that it is my job to help her with every little thing, someday she will, and she will remember the times we spent together, thus making the memories worth all the effort. It’s what I call my investment in the future.

Abraham-I

By Crown of Beauty

CROSSROADS

This is just a few meters away from our Maejo U. flat in Sansai, Chiang Mai.
Crossroads remind us of the many choices we need to make each day. Which way, Lord?
"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.'"
(Is. 30:21, NKJV)

“So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey,
and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son;
and he split the wood for the burnt offering,
and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.”
(Genesis 22:3, NKJV)

Isaac was the son of promise. I’m sure Abraham didn’t understand why he was being asked by the very same God who made the promise, to offer “your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love” as a burnt offering.

But Abraham was a man of faith, and faith is tested, proven, and rooted in obedience. I am amazed at the depth of this man’s faith that makes him willing to obey and let go of his only son Isaac. Without a murmur, without a complaint. Just a yes.

How much faith was needed before he could confidently say to his menservants, “Stay here with the donkey, the lad and I will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you.”

Look how tenderly he responds to Isaac’s question:

Isaac: My father!

Abraham: Here I am, my son.

Isaac: Look, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

Abraham: My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering.

What guarantees did he have? What kind of faith did he possess that he could speak about such matters so matter-of-factly? Tears well up in my eyes as I imagine this conversation between father and son. Here he was, very close to losing his own son. And he speaks so gently, so softly.
Then in just a few more minutes, Isaac himself realizes the truth: he was to be the burnt offering. At the moment of realization, Isaac had no other choice but to hold on to his father’s faith.

At this point, both father and son had nothing, but faith that God will act. Did Abraham embrace his son before tying him up and putting him on the altar? I’m sure he did. Did Isaac struggle? Most probably.

We women want to know details like those. But the Bible is silent and highlights instead the kind of faith that Abraham, and Isaac, demonstrated at a crossroads in their life.

We are familiar with the rest of the story. As Abraham was about to slay his son, God did provide a ram caught in a thicket by his horns. And in this place of painful obedience, Abraham’s life took a turning point. So real was Abraham’s encounter with God that he called the place, “The Lord Will Provide.”

In this place of provision, when he thought he was facing a dead end, his faith was rewarded. And God speaks to him these awesome words of blessing: “Because … you have not withheld your son, your only son – blessing, I will bless you, and multiplying, I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore, and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies.” (Gen. 22:16-17, NKJV)

Real Life:
I find myself face to face with hard choices. To give up, to let go, to give in. To offer as a sacrifice what I hold dear and precious in my life. To say, “Yes, Lord,” even if I don’t understand. Even if deep inside of me, I’d rather not. Asking God to give me the grace, and the gentle strength, to yield. But I know my faith has to be broken before it can be proven strong. Faith is just a handle. It is the object of my faith that matters.

And though I know the rewards of faith are real: blessings of faith, multiplication, and possessing the gates of my enemies (vindication), there is no substitute for the greatest reward of all. God Himself.

Action Step:
What difficult situation are you facing right now? Do you hear yourself asking your heavenly father, “My Father, where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” What is His tender reply to you?

Prayer:

“My Father, I don’t always understand, or see the end of the road, but you are a God who can be counted on. When I have nothing to hold on to but my meager, mustard seed faith, I ask you to open my eyes and reveal to me options I never thought possible. Above all, lead me closer to your heart. You’re all I want.”

Revelations IV

by Proverbs 31 Woman!

THE VITAL KEY: PRAYER

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Phil. 4:4-6

Real Life:
How amazing it is to be aligned with God in spirit. For the last three Sundays now, Pastor Joe’s sermons talked about what the Lord revealed to me last year. As I was going through my journal, it was evident to me that He was talking about the same things. I was telling my husband yesterday at church that this was not a coincidence. It is indeed a confirmation of His word of instruction to His people. I remember someone said to me before, “If you hear the same message over twice, God is telling you something. Take heed.”

During my desert experience, it was the very time when everything seemed to go downhill. Aside from my failing the examinations, my family was faced with financial difficulties and challenges as well. In my desolate state, my mind was bombarded with questions: “Why couldn’t the Lord show himself powerful in our situation? Why are you far from me, Lord? Why are we merely treading on water and trying to survive? Why?… Why?…. Why?” My heart ached as I pondered upon these hard-hitting questions.

I knelt down and wept in prayer. Gradually, as I sought the Lord, a number of promises from his Word came alive. In my heart, as I began to rely upon them in prayer, God dispelled my sense of being overwhelmed. The Holy Spirit was helping me to understand the truths of Scripture, which in turn gave me the faith to trust the Lord.

One of the best gifts God gave at that time was teaching me to come to Him in sincere prayer. The Bible says: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30. Upon reading this, I wept again.

More and more I realized that prayer was the key. Why did God emphasize prayer?

*Prayer is a form of serving God (Luke 2:36-38).

*We pray because God commands us to pray (Philippians 4:6-7).

*Prayer is exemplified for us by Christ and the early church (Mark 1:35; Acts 1:14; 2:42; 3:1; 4:23-31; 6:4; 13:1-3). If Jesus thought it was worthwhile to pray, we should also.

*God intends for prayer to be the means of obtaining His solutions in a number of situations:
a) Preparation for major decisions (Luke 6:12-13).
b) Overcoming demonic barriers in our lives (Matthew 17:14-21).
c) The gathering of workers for the spiritual harvest (Luke 10:2).
d) The gaining of strength to overcome temptation (Matthew 26:41).
e) The means of strengthening others spiritually (Ephesians 6:18-19).
f) The means for physical healing (Genesis 20:17).

We have God's promise that our prayers are not in vain, even if we don't receive specifically what we asked for (Matthew 6:6; Romans 8:26-27). He has promised that when we ask for things that are in accordance with His will, He will give us what we ask for (1 John 5:14-15).

A lack of prayer demonstrates the lack of faith and a lack of trust in God’s Word. We pray to demonstrate our faith in God, that He will do as He has promised in His Word, and will bless our lives abundantly more than we could ask or hope for (Ephesians 3:20). Prayer is our primary means of seeing God work in others' lives. Because it is our means of "plugging into" God's power, it is our means of defeating a foe and his army (Satan and his army) that we are powerless to overcome by ourselves. Therefore, may God find us often before His throne, for we have a High Priest in heaven who can identify with all that we go through (Hebrews 4:15-16). We have His promise that the fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much (James 5:16-18).

MY SILENT PRAYER

(written during my desert experience)

I come to you, O Lord in prayer,
Knowing and believing, you're always there;
With folded hands and bended knees,
Prayer, I know, is the ultimate key.

I wept, my heart in despair,
I asked if You ever care,
"Trust and Obey", was all I could hear,
In my heart, t'was ever so clear.

"Come and taste my goodness," You mused,
All the while I wandered, so confused.
In the desert, I was dry and alone-
Bewildered, I pondered until dawn.

Finally, I released of myself and stripped off,
Suddenly, fresh anointing of Your Spirit, I felt.
So gentle, so loving, so fragile, so soft,
Before His throne, with humility, my heart melts.

In prayer, relentlessly, unknown,
My God, in His favor, He has shown-
True love, my burdens He has carried,
For me on the cross until He was buried.

You gave me Hope, You gave me life!
Through resurrection power, You are my light.
My heavy yoke, the battle is not my fight,
But by Your Spirit, not mine power nor might.

Precious dear Lord, I thank you, I pray-
I will hear of you, in Your arms I stay.
In my silent prayer, You teach me to do,
In my life's journey, you leadeth I go.

May God glorify His name in our lives as we believe in Him enough to come to Him often in prayer.

Prayer:
“Dear Jesus, thank you for teaching us to pray. Thank you that in your name, our battles within are silenced in prayer. Thank you that when we call upon your name, You come and hear our cry. Thank you that when we pray, You answer what’s best for us, in your perfect time. Amen.”

Prayer.... Make it a lifestyle. I have written more about it in my website: Proverbs 31 Journal's Prayer Tray. Click here for the link:
http://jensnursingchronicles.blogspot.com/2008/01/prayer-tray.html

Coming soon…Revelations V. “Give and it will come back to you”

Learn to cook!

by Proverb 31 Woman!



If you are not a good cook or do not know how to cook at all, take lessons! It's true: "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!"