WHO? ME?

by Mizpah

“He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.”

Ecclesiastes 5:20

2007 was a year of confrontation with I, me and myself. The diversity of circumstances God showered my way did much of its part to surprise me and forced me to come to terms with who I really was and what stuff I was really made of.

Unexpected tremors and rumblings stripped me of the flimsy and volatile covering I had so long tried to cover myself with. Hot flushes, a quarterly menstrual period, hyperventilation, hypertension, the discovery of a more pronounced “missing” waistline, larger skin pores, not to mention inability to refuse sleep at 9:00 in the evening , and sipping my first cup of coffee at 3:00 in the morning were among the highlights of last year. And my clincher was checking out of Riverside Medical Center on December 31 after a five-day admission, gulping down thirteen bottles of dextrose when “amoebiasis” got me down.

Is this it? Am I in it? I never imagined that it included these! “Not in one clump, Lord! YES, YOU ARE! relentlessly resonated in every crevice of my heart.

The process of acceptance came a little bit slow but thank God, it did!

Come to think of it…honestly, and I mean, really honestly, I think I’m beginning to like the new “me” now. I never imagined that this liberation would bring me to the real “me”, the more secure “me” , and yes, the freed “me”!

When my sister-in-law forwarded this article to me, I can’t help but chuckle. Oh, yeah! Right on!

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!
FRIENDS & SISTERS FOREVER!

(name of author not included)

Where are you right now in your life? Have you been going through some stripping lately? Give yourself some time and embrace the changes God is doing in your life and you will surely be in for the greatest surprise of your life.

Welcome aboard, women! It’s an enjoyable trip!